Sonic's Ocarina
by jakeroo123
Summary: A young hedgehog is woken up one day by a fairy - something he has been hoping for for quite awhile, though she's not exactly what he expected. He soon meets other friends, and takes on an adventure to save Hyrule. Adaptation of Ocarina of Time with Sonic characters... With a large focus on humor. Note: Re-started
1. Kokiri Forest

_Alright, I know I haven't finished my other fic yet... But I wanted to try something. This is, basically, an adaptation of Ocarina of Time (and later Majora's Mask)... With Sonic characters instead. Sonic will be Link; Tails will inexplicably be along for the ride; Amy will be Navi; "Eggmandorf" will be Ganondorf, etc. You'll find out more as you go along. There WILL be a few Mario characters scattered about, mostly for comedic effect.  
_

_Obviously, there will be a few changes.  
_

_Also, this will be updating alongside my other fic.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Kokiri Forest  
**

* * *

Sonic woke up to a grating, high-pitched voice. He looked around his wooden house for a few moments before his eyes came to rest on a ball of pink light with wings.

"You finally woke up! I'm Amy the fairy! The Great Deku Tree asked me to be your partner from now on! Nice to meet you! The Great Deku Tree has summoned you! So let's get going, right now!"

"Your voice is screechy," the green-clad blue hedgehog pointed out.

"... I'm not sure I like you. Let's just go."

"Alright," Sonic zipped out of his home, and into the forest where he lived. He hopped down from the treehouse he lived in, immediately coming face-to-face with a green-haired girl wearing a green tunic.

"Yahoo! Hi, Sonic. Wow! A fairy finally came to you! That's so cool!"

"Hello, Saria," Sonic said, a hint of exasperation in his voice, "The Deku Tree summoned me. Is Mido being a jerk and blocking the way again?"

"Oh, Sonic, you're so silly," Saria giggled, "But yes. He is. He's not letting anybody without a sword and a shield in."

"... He does realize there's only one sword in the entire forest, right?"

"Yep! You're gonna have to go find it!" Saria said cheerfully.

"..." Sonic ran off towards the training ground of the Kokiri, a fenced-off area with a few signs giving people nonsensical rules on how to fight. He ran behind it to the wall of the forest (How exactly did that work, anyway? It was a _forest_.), and crawled into a tiny opening.

He knew he had to do this because Amy was constantly screaming instructions in his ear.

After crawling through the hole, Sonic came out into a miniature forest maze. He was promptly flattened by a giant boulder.

"... Wow, you're incompetent."

"Shut up, Amy," Sonic said, before deciding to follow directly behind the boulder. By doing this, he was able to get into a small alcove with a treasure chest in it. He kicked the treasure chest open to find a simple silver-colored sword, with a hilt the same color as the blade and a gold-colored guard.

"Hi!" greeted a childish voice from behind Sonic. He turned on the spot, coming face to face with a young fox about his age. The fox was mostly covered in yellow fur, though the insides of its ears, the tips of its tails, its belly, and its muzzle were white. The only clothes the fox wore were white gloves like Sonic's, and a short blue shirt that stopped at its waist. It wore no shoes, its large three-toed feet resting on the grass barefoot. It had blue eyes, and odd spiky bangs that stuck out to the front.

After taking in the fox's appearance, Sonic realized that it had two tails and no visible mouth. "Um... Who are you?"

"... Umm..." Sonic noticed that the fox really didn't have a mouth, but its muzzle still moved when it talked. What exactly was it? "... I don't like my name. I was hiding here. Can I come with you?"

"No!" Amy screeched, "You little... freak!"

Tears appeared in the fox's eyes, and it started sobbing quietly.

"Amy!" Sonic yelled, "You hurt the fox's feelings!"

"It doesn't have a mouth! It has two tails!"

"That probably just means the fox is a species we don't know about," Sonic countered, "Come on... Tails, do you like that name? You can come with."

"Really?" The fox brightened up, "Thank you!" It hugged Sonic, and looked like it would have been grinning if it had a mouth.

"Ugh, don't listen to me, I'm just your guide fairy..." Amy said, "What are you, anyway? Are you a guy or a girl?"

"I'm a guy," the fox said, letting go of Sonic, "And I don't remember the name of what I am."

"See, Amy?" Sonic asked, "New species. Now, let's go meet the Deku Tree!"

After crawling through the tiny space, Sonic came out on the other side to find that Tails had somehow gotten there before him.

"... How did you..."

Tails shrugged, "Not sure. What now?"

"Well, we need a shield. For that, we need to find 40 rupees, and buy one at that shop way over there by that pond."

"Alright," Tails said, "Meet you there in ten minutes!" His tails starting spinning, and he took off flying towards some shrubbery.

**Ten Minutes Later**

"So... I got twenty-five rupees," Sonic said, "How many did you get, Tails?"

"Seventeen."

"So that leaves us with two after we get the sheild..." Sonic said. Tails handed him the rupees, and Sonic ran in to buy it, leaving Tails and Amy outside.

"How are you talking, little fox?"

"I don't know," Tails said, rubbing the place where his mouth would be, "How do you do anything? You're a glowing ball of light."

"I'm a hedgehog fairy!" Amy exclaimed, "I have arms and legs and a mouth!"

"... Sorry," Tails said, "Look, Sonic's here!"

"Hey Tails, hey Amy. Let's get going." With that, the three walked over to a nearby giant log, which had a young boy with red in (surprise) a green tunic and hat in front of it.

"Hey Mido," Sonic said, "I need to see the Deku Tree."

"Equip a sword and a... Is that the Kokiri Sword? Omigosh, I can't believe you got it! I've got to try it out sometime! Please, please let me use it! I'll let you in!"

Tails looked at Sonic and shook his head, eyes pleading for Sonic not to do it.

Sonic nodded to Tails, "Sorry, Mido, but I don't think I can do that. Come on, Tails, Amy, let's go."

"... Fine," Mido grumbled, moving out of the way.

Sonic, Tails, and Amy went into the tunnel, soon to see what would come their way.

* * *

_About Tails? Yeah, I have my reasons... I actually do have a plan, not that I'll tell you yet._


	2. Inside the Deku Tree

**_TatlTails:_**_ No, it has nothing to do with Mephiles. I haven't actually decided who's playing Zelda yet..._**_  
_**

_**Faraday Fan:** Really? Cool. Note that it's a bit of a parody, too... The focus here is more on humor than in my other fic, just a warning...  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Inside the Deku Tree  
**

* * *

As the three went down the path leading to the Deku Tree, they came across three somewhat withered venus fly trap-like plants with blue heads, which Sonic swiftly and easily dispatched with the sword... It was oddly easy to use, as if he'd always known how to use it.

Tails grinned in his odd way again, and the three continued on into the clearing where the gigantic Deku Tree resided. He was a huge tree, with a large wooden face.

"Great Deku Tree... I'm back!" Amy yelled.

"Oh... Amy... Thou hast returned..."

"Great, he talks like THAT," Sonic groaned.

The Deku Tree ignored him, "Sonic... Welcome... Listen carefully to what I, the Deku Tree, am about to tell thee... Thy slumber these past moons must have been restless, and full of nightmares..."

"No it hasn't. I've slept well."

The Deku Tree continued to ignore Sonic, "As the servants of evil gain strength, a vile climate pervades the land and causes nightmares to those sensitive to it... Verily, thou hast felt it..."

"Uh, no. I think you're a tad crazy."

"SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO STICK TO MY SCRIPT!" The Deku Tree shouted, breaking character, "Ahem. Link... The time has come to test thy courage... I have been cursed... I need you to break the curse with your wisdom and courage. Dost thou have courage enough to undertake this task?"

"Uh, duh. Are you really cursed or is it more to do with your script? By the way, who's Link?"

The Deku Tree didn't respond, and instead opened his mouth to let them in.

"We have to go in his mouth?" Sonic asked, "He's _eating_ us?"

"Is that how eating works?" Tails asked curiously.

"Umm... Sort of," Sonic said, "... I don't think you'd get it, though... Let's just get this over with, agreed?"

Tails nodded, 'grinning'. The three went into the Great Deku Tree to find... A round room made of wood and covered in cobwebs.

And the same plants as outside attacking Sonic, only this time they weren't withered. Sonic was still able to take them out with relative ease, however.

"... Why does he have these things in his mouth?" Sonic asked.

Tails shrugged.

"Maybe he eats them," Amy suggested.

"... Weird," Sonic said. He noticed some vines on the opposite side of the tree, and ran over to climb them, avoiding the gigantic hole in the center of the tree containing a spider web. After climbing, he walked around on the top of the ledge a bit, sometimes jumping over gaps, until he found a door.

"Shall we go in?" Sonic asked.

Amy made a _duh!_ face, but nobody saw it.

"Sure!" Tails said, prompting Sonic to open the door. The room on the otherside was quite sparse, with only two doors, both of which 'locked' (bars came down and covered the doors) as soon as the three entered. Inside, there was a small plant-like being made of wood with a tube for a mouth, glowing eyes, and leaves as hair. While the readers likely can't get anything from this description, all three present knew it was a Deku Scrub.

It spat a large brown seed known as a Deku Nut at Sonic, which Sonic promptly hit back with his sword.

"... You're supposed to use your shield,"

"Sword's more fun. 'Sides, I'm more comfortable using it."

Tails 'grinned' again, and the door at the other end of the room unlocked. The three walked through to find another sparse room, with a large gap separating them from a chest. There was a crumbly-looking platform in the middle of the gap.

"So, how are you going to do this?" Amy asked, "Jumping on the platform seems like a..."

Tails flew across the gap, and opened the chest to find a slingshot.

"... That's cheating. Next you're going to, what, try to get around that giant spiderweb you're supposed to by-"

Gleams appeared in Sonic and Tails' eyes.

"... I should have kept my mouth shut."

* * *

**Central Room, 50 feet above the hole with the spiderweb.  
**

"Ready, Sonic?" Tails asked.

"Ready!"

Tails dive-bombed the spiderweb, crashing through it. Before they hit the ground in the 'basement' of the Deku Tree, Tails was able to pull up, and set Sonic gently down in the shallow water at the bottom. There were three ledges sticking out of the water, one high and one low, and a few doors leading out of the room. The highest ledge had another spiderweb on it.

"... You just bypassed half a dungeon," Amy said, deadpan, "WHY WOULD YOU EVEN DO THAT?"

"... Isn't this supposed to be a test of courage?"

"There's a big difference between courage and recklessness."

"Meh," Sonic said, jumping up to the high ledge and slashing the spiderweb with his sword.

"YOU CAN'T DO THAT EITHER!"

"Eh, didn't work, anyway," Sonic said, "Now, how to get through..." He snapped his fingers, and jumped up into the air to start doing rapid somersaults. He landed on the spiderweb, slicing through it like a buzzsaw.

Tails and Amy flew down after him, coming to a room that was half in and half out of water. The only things in the room were three Deku Scrubs (which Sonic was busy fighting), and a large door. Tails flew above Sonic, hitting all three Deku Scrubs with his slingshot, causing the door to open.

"... You two do not understand the concept of a dungeon, do you?"

Sonic and Tails ignored Amy, and rushed through the door.


	3. Gohma and the Script

_**TatlTails:** Hmm... Maybe. Better than Marine, who I was considering... Actually, no. That's not what's going on with the sword. Heh heh heh... You'll see eventually. Actually, re-read that - I only noticed that after publishing it, and immediately edited it to make a joke out of it. No, your name wasn't inspiration for this fic.__  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Gohma and the Script  
**

* * *

"RAWR! I AM QUEEN GOHMA! I EATS UR FACE!"

This was said by the boss of the dungeon, a large one-eyed scorpion creature.

"... Was I scary?"

"... BOSSES ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK!" Amy yelled.

"Geez, you don't have to be mean about it. It's not like I want to be the boss of this place, Eggmandorf just said he had a nice new house for me. He lied! This place STINKS!"

"Well, too bad! Sonic's going to defeat you, and then go on some huge adventure that he won't be back from for seven years, split the timeline in three, and save the world!"

"... What?" Sonic asked.

"You heard me," Amy said.

"Hang on..." Sonic said thoughtfully, "Hey, Gohma, how would you like to have my place? It's not that big, but it's a fair bit nicer than this dank place."

"Really?" Gohma said, with an expression not at all befitting a giant scorpion, "I'll pack my stuff! Be back in a few minutes!"

Sonic smirked at Amy.

* * *

"Well done, Sonic... Thou hast verily demonstrated thy courage... I knew that thou wouldst be able to carry out my wishes... Now, I have yet more to tell ye, wouldst thou listen..."

"He didn't carry out your wishes," Amy said as Sonic nodded.

"Now...listen carefully... A wicked man of the desert cast this dreadful curse upon me... This evil man ceaselessly uses his vile, sorcerous powers in his search for the Sacred Realm that is connected to Hyrule... For it is in that Sacred Realm that one will find the divine relic, the Triforce, which contains the essence of the gods... Before time began, before spirits and life existed... Three golden goddesses descended upon the chaos that was Hyrule..."

"Um, I already know this part. It's kind of common knowledge," Sonic said, "Can you skip it?"

"SCR- Oh, fine, I didn't really want to do the whole thing anyway..." the Deku Tree mumbled, "Thou must never allow the desert man in black armor to lay his hands on the sacred Triforce... Thou must never suffer that man, with his evil heart, to enter the Sacred Realm of legend... That evil man who cast the death curse upon me and sapped my power..."

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" Gohma wailed, "I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"This is Hyrule's final hope... Sonic... Go now to Hyrule Castle... There, thou will surely meet the Princess of Destiny... Take this stone with you. The stone that man wanted to much, that he cast the curse on me..."

Out of the Deku Tree's leaves fell a large green emerald, which hit Sonic on the head. He picked it up, and put it in his green hat.

"The future depends upon thee, Sonic... Thou art courageous... Amy the fairy... Help Sonic to carry out my will... I entreat ye... Amy... Good...bye..."

Suddenly, two fairies carrying a bucket of paint flew out of nowhere, dumped grey paint all over the Deku Tree, and left.

"Hey, Sonic!" Mido's voice came from the entrance to the clearing, "Did you... Did you just kill the Deku Tree? How could you do such a thing!"

"I don't think he's dead," Tails said.

"What do you know?" Mido said, "Hey! Deku Tree! Are you dead?"

"I am most certainly dead," the Deku Tree assured Mido.

"See?"

"... Mido, he just _talked_," Sonic pointed out, "I really doubt he's dead."

"Yes! I am dead! Dead as a doorknob!"

"Told you he's dead!" Mido yelled, "I'm gonna go tell everyone!" He ran off to the village.

"... Show me your house?" Gohma asked.

* * *

Sonic, Tails, and Amy left Gohma bouncing on Sonic's bed... Somehow. The bed was made of wood, which made things a bit confusing. Since there was nothing left to do in the forest, the three left... Only to be stopped by Saria as they were leaving.

"Oh... You're leaving... I knew that you would leave someday... Because you're different than us..."

"What tipped you off? The fur? The tail? The spines?"

Tails giggled.

"I want you to have this Ocarina... When you need to speak to me, play the song I play in the lost woods..." And with that, Saria left.

"... You aren't going to play it, are you?" Amy asked.

"Nope," Sonic said, walking out, "C'mon, Tails."

Tails looked back on the forest for a few seconds before turning around and running after his first friend in a long time.


	4. Hyrule Castle Town

___**TatlTails:** No, no, you got it wrong. I noticed only a few minutes after publishing it, but apparently it took about an hour for the changes to take effect... Oh. I thought I caught all the times he said Link... I kind of copied the Deku Tree's dialogue, to stick with the 'script' theme. I will not be doing this for the Deku Sprout. I noticed that I called you that a few minutes before you submitted that review, and have already fixed it. You're partially right, but I'm not going to reveal how much or what you said is right.__  
_

___**Faraday Fan:** ... My school is over, thankfully. It's not really relevant to this particular game, but... Well, you'll see, that's all I can say for now.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Hyrule Castle Town  
**

* * *

Sonic and Tails walked out of the forest into a vast green field. The sun was high in the blue sky of fluffy clouds, the grass was green, the background music was fitting, Peach and Daisy were arguing, the giant owl was interrupting the adventure for a lengthy speech... Oh, wait, that last one was relevant, wasn't it?

"Hoot hoot! Sonic, it looks like it's finally time to start your adventure! You'll need to go straight to Hyrule Castle, which is quite a ways straight ahead. Be careful not to go too fast, Amy's a fairy and can't really keep up with your and Tails' footspeed. When you get there, you will meet a princess. Ah, I knew a princess once... Two, actually. They were both rather feisty, but they were pretty nice. Oh, that reminds me of that fire-throwing man and his daughter... And there's also that time I went to the future and saw that you'd still be going on adventures in seven years! Hoo! Tails hasn't really changed much, but that's to be expected. Oh, which reminds me of the time I rambled on and on to someone for nearly three hours because they were pointedly ignoring me. Have you ever had something like that - Hey, where are you going?"

Sonic, Tails, and Amy had stopped listening somewhere around 'fire', and had set off down the road.

"... I think I remember something," Tails said, "We'd better stick to the road... We probably aren't going to reach Hyrule Castle Town by nightfall, so we need to play it safe..."

"Tails is right," Amy agreed, "Stalchildren roam at night. They're weak, but REALLY annoying. If we set up camp on a road, they'll leave us alone."

"Alright, fine," Sonic said, "And we can't run because you're too slow to keep up."

"... I resent that. I'm sure we'll figure something out eventually."

The three forged on, coming across no major obstacles as they went down the road. The day trudged on, and they finally came within a few hundred yards of Hyrule Castle town... At which point the clock struck six, the gate closed, and the sun set all at once.

"... Okay... Let's just sleep here, then," Sonic suggested, "I can sleep on the ground, Amy...?"

"Your hat looks fairly comfortable."

Sonic let her into his hat, "Alright, Tails?"

"I'll be fine," Tails said, "I've slept on the ground before... I've slept in a lot of places, actually."

"Alright..." Sonic said, "If you say so..."

Sonic soon nodded off to sleep, though Tails took awhile longer.

* * *

Sonic woke up with the crowing of the rooster at 6 AM on the dot. He let Amy out of his hat, and looked towards where Tails had been when he'd gone to sleep. He wasn't there.

"Tails?" Sonic yelled, looking around panicked for the little fox, "Where are you?"

"I'm right here, Sonic," Sonic turned around to see Tails standing right behind him, "You okay?"

"... Yeah, I was just worried about you."

"I'm fine," Tails assured him, "Let's go meet the princess." The three entered Hyrule Castle Town, which was rather plain and simple but quite a cheery place. When they reached the town square, they heard two men discussing how to reach the inside of the castle in loud voices. Apparently only a child would fit.

"... Wow," Amy said, "Seriously? They're discussing this in broad daylight. There are CASTLE GUARDS here. What the heck are they thinking?"

"Dunno, but I have an idea..." Sonic made a beeline for Hyrule Castle, Tails following closely behind.

Amy sighed, following them to find that... The rambling owl had stopped them.

"Oh, hello. It's nice to see you two again. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. Someone was pointedly ignoring my advice for three hours so I didn't stop rambling. Oh, that reminds me of the magical swords... Would you like to hear about them? The Master Sword isn't the only one, you know. There's also the Four Sword, the Phantom Sword, the Lokomo Sword... There are many others, would you like to hear about them?"

"No," Sonic said simply, "You'll probably go off topic again."

"Really? Because, I assure you, it's quite an interesting tale - Very relevant to your quest."

"I'll tell him later," Tails spoke up, "I've known about this stuff for a long time."

"Alright then," the owl said, "Before I leave, my name is Kaepora Gaebora. Remember it well!" With that, the gigantic brown owl flew away.

"Well, that's over with," Amy said, relieved, "I can't stand wordy exposition-guide-people."

Sonic and Tails exchanged glances, before bursting into laughter... Which looked weird with Tails, to say the least.

"... What? Oh, come on, I don't talk that much!"

Sonic and Tails' laughter was interrupted by a small voice from behind them.

"... Um, excuse me."

The two turned around to see that the voice belonged to a young purple cat with yellow eyes, a white dress with blue trim, and a yellow scarf with a strange clasp.


	5. Hyrule Castle

_**TatlTails:** Glad you thought he was funny. No, Tails isn't Fi. I said you were partially right, and you used four different descriptive words that could apply ('spirit', 'sword', 'magical', and 'guardian'). Not all of them do, but at least one does, and at least one doesn't. That leaves a large number of possibilities for what Tails could be, I won't tell you which is correct. Well, you're about to see more. It doesn't cover all of his spines - Only the top ones. Remember that Amy fairy is about two inches tall.  
_

_Also, I have covers for both of my fics. Credit for the sprites can be found on my DeviantArt page.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Hyrule Castle  
**

* * *

"Hello," Tails said, extending his hand in greeting, "I'm Tails, and this is Sonic. Who are you?"

"Do I not exist?" Amy asked. She didn't get an answer.

"I'm Blaze. Where's your mouth?" The purple cat asked.

"... I don't have one. Can we talk about something else?"

"Oh, right. Well, I noticed that Sonic was wearing the clothes of the hero, and wanted to ask if he could find my dad. He went up to the castle to deliver milk, so he's probably fallen asleep by the crates. Again. It'd be nice if you could wake him up, **or else I'll burn your faces off**, so you can borrow this chicken egg that will inexplicably grow up instantly upon hatching and is definitely male."

"... Erm..." Sonic said, nervously, "I think we'll just find another way to wake him up."

"Yeah..." Tails agreed.

"You're crazy," Amy added. Thankfully, Blaze didn't seem to hear her. Sonic had an idea, and whispered into Tails' ear. He nodded, and grabbed Sonic's hands. He took to the air, flying over all the guards' heads and going completely unnoticed despite that he should have been well within their peripheral vision. He touched down on the right side of the castle, where there were a few milk crates and a sleeping main in a red hat and shirt, blue overalls, and a magnificent mustache. Another, similar-looking man in green instead of red was fruitlessly trying to wake him up.

"Bro. YOU HAVE BEEN ASLEEP FOR THREE DAYS! YOUR DAUGHTER IS UNSUPERVISED! SHE'S PROBABLY BURNED THE HOUSE DOWN BY NOW! WAKE UP OR NO PASTA FOR A MONTH!"

The man in red instantly shot up, "Pasta? Where?"

"... I should have known," The man in green groaned, "Come on, Mario, we need to go home and make sure Blaze is okay." The two men walked off, never having noticed Sonic, Tails, and Amy.

"... Cool," Sonic said, "Hey, there's the little entrance hole, see where the water's coming out of the wall and into the moat? We can fit through that easy!"

"Alright," Amy said, "Now all we need is to push the..."

Tails had already flown Sonic up to the hole, allowing Sonic to crawl through it.

"... Whoever designed this adventure did not take into account the possibility of someone being able to fly," Amy groaned, flying through after Sonic.

Once Sonic and Amy got through the tiny hole, they found that Tails was already there.

"... Are you just going to appear whenever I need you?" Sonic asked.

Tails shrugged.

The three had come into the castle gardens, where the guards were patrolling.

Sonic grinned, grabbed Amy and put her in his hat, and zipped through the gardens, screaming his head off. Tails followed close behind.

They didn't get caught.

They quickly reached a quiet courtyard with no guards... The only person there was a young, cream-colored rabbit girl. She was wearing a purple and white dress, and spying in the window.

"Hello, are you Zelda?" Sonic asked.

The rabbit turned around, "... Yes. I prefer my nickname: Cream. From your clothing and the disgruntled fairy, I assume you are the hero, Link, and that you have the spiritual stone of the forest."

"... No, my name is Sonic. But people, like that weird owl who talks too much, seem to think I'm the hero you're talking about, and I do have the Kokiri Emerald."

"Oh, you've met KG, then. He's annoying," she giggled, "But if he thinks you're the hero, he's probably right. Well, I must tell you about this then... Look through the window."

Sonic looked, and saw an immensely fat man with a large orange mustache talking to a kingly looking crocodile.

"That's Eggmandorf. He comes from the desert. I think he's up to something... He's mean to me, and keeps saying Cheese's name is stupid!"

"... I don't think that's a very good reason."

"He also mumbles about eggs and taking over the world in his sleep. Oh, and the Triforce, he plans to steal it. You can stop him by going to Death Mountain and Zora's Domain, where the other spiritual stones are! You can collect them, and open the temple of time, and get the Master Sword, and beat up Eggmandorf before he takes over the world!"

"... Can't we just frame him for bank fraud or something?"

"No. Now go! Take this letter and notes to a song, they'll help you! GUARDS! THROW THEM OUT SO THEY CAN SAVE THE WORLD!"

The guards instantly appeared and obeyed. Soon, Sonic and Tails were back in town. The men from earlier were trying to put out a fire that seemed to have been started by Blaze.

"... How exactly is she his daughter, anyway?" Sonic asked as the trio came back out into Hyrule Field.


	6. Learning Songs

_**TatlTails:** I'll tell you about Luigi now: He does not intentionally turn evil. Maybe not at all. YOU SHALL SEE! I actually don't like the pairing. That goes for _all_ pairings. It was just for comedic effect. Eh, it's okay.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Learning Songs  
**

* * *

"... How the heck am I supposed to play this?" Sonic asked, "I have no idea how to read music..."

"Oh, give me that," Amy said, grabbing the ocarina and the sheet of music. Somehow. She played a simple, six note tune, again inexplicably.

"How did you... Nevermind, just teach me the song."

Amy did so, with surprising ease. It was as if Sonic was born knowing how to play an ocarina.

Ha ha, no. It actually took about three hours. Tails spent two hours of that time playing with his slingshot and the Deku Shield to see how strong the shield was.

As it turned out, it wasn't very strong, and lasted all of two minutes. Tails played with the broken pieces for awhile, before remembering that Sonic still needed a shield. He took the Kokiri Sword off of Sonic's back without the hedgehog noticing, and flew off to collect some rupees by destroying shrubbery. For some reason, he never once drew the sword from its sheath, and didn't even touch it apart from the sheath.

Once he had around eighty (forty extra to get a spare), he went back into Hyrule Castle Town and found a place where he could buy a shield.

They didn't sell wooden shields, but instead metal 'Hylian' Shields that had a cool design on them, in Tails' opinion. He only had enough money for one, so he bought it. He quickly got back to Sonic, and returned the Kokiri Sword to his back and added the shield over it. Sonic was still in the process of learning a song, so he didn't notice.

Tails started shooting the Hylian Shield with his slingshot for the next hour until Sonic finally mastered the song. He didn't know where he got or kept all the ammunition either.

* * *

When Sonic was finished learning the song, the three went east to reach Kakariko Village. The village was rather simple, but there was no way to tell how to get to Death Mountain, home of the Goron's Ruby. The three wandered around aimlessly for awhile before finally coming across a path that looked like it might lead to the volcano. They walked down the path to find... A graveyard. There was nothing particularly notable about it, except a grave in the back with the recognizable triforce design:

/\  
/\/\

"I know!" Sonic exclaimed, "We need to play Zelda's song next to the triforce!"

"... How do you figure that?"

"Isn't that how the insane logic on these adventures usually work?"

"Good point," Amy conceded.

Sonic ran up to the grave, and played the song Zelda had given them. The grave was struck by lightning, exploding to reveal a hole.

"Subtle," Amy remarked as the three entered. There wasn't much in the dark stone room under the grave, just a locked door into another room and some skeletons. Oh, and also five killer bats which Tails was able to hit with his slingshot (the fox had surprisingly good aim). When all five bats were down, the door unlocked.

"Kill the evil bats, open a door. Who would've thought?" Amy asked sarcastically as they walked through.

The next room was full of screaming zombies which were quickly dispatched with the Kokiri Sword and Tails looking rather queasy; as well as patches of what seemed to be poisonous and easily-avoidable water. The room was even easier than the one before it, and they went through the door to find... Notes to another song inscribed on a large stone tablet.

"... Lame," Amy said, "What does it do?"

Tails ran over to the tablet, and looked at the indecipherable text, "Let's see..."

"You can read that?" Amy asked in surprise.

"Yes. It says that it's a mystical song which changes day to night and back again. That might be helpful... There might be some stuff we need to do at night, but we wouldn't want to wait all day and be tired..."

"I see," Sonic said, less than impressed. He wrote the notes down anyway; and the three backtracked to Kakariko Village... Only to get lost and end up in Hyrule Field again.

It was plainly visible that the famous Lon Lon Ranch, owned by the Mario Brothers and producer of the famous Lon Lon Milk, only ten rupees per bottle, two servings per battle, each serving full of nutrients and capable of restoring ten hearts!, was on fire.

... Needless to say, Sonic and Tails ran towards the ranch at full speed to help them.

Before Amy could even attempt to follow, a huge shockwave of sound washed over the field. She fell to the ground, clutching her ears - It was the loudest sound she had ever heard.

* * *

Sonic and Tails soon reached the ranch and had run inside to find the two buildings on fire. Beyond the buildings, there was a pasture full of horses, also on fire. The pasture, not the horses. There was a familiar purple cat petting one of the horses.

"Umm... Hello," Sonic greeted Blaze.

"Hello, Sonic, and welcome to **the burning inferno of** Lon Lon Ranch. This is Epona, my favorite horse," she continued petting the brown horse, "She likes music, **watching my enemies burn alive**, milk, and carrots. Would you like to know her song?"

"... I think we'd rather not," Tails said delicately.

"Really? That's too bad... I still want to **burn a mouth onto your face** teach you the song." Blaze started singing with her eyes closed.

Sonic and Tails wisely decided to back away slowly and return to Amy.


	7. Goron City

_**TatlTails:** I usually try to get rid of them. 'Course, in my playthrough I didn't actually get the Sun's Song this early. I got it in THE FUTURE! Heh, Tails can be a bit silly at times.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Goron City  
**

* * *

"... She sounds crazy," Amy commented, as the three walked through Kakariko village.

"Seemed like it," Sonic said, "Hey, I don't think we've gone over there before." He pointed over to a wide path leading straight to Death Mountain with a guard standing next to the gate.

That brings a question to mind. Why does every area in Hyrule have a huge wall surrounding it?

Sonic walked up to the armored man and gave him the letter from Zelda. The three heroes were then allowed to pass.

"Why didn't you talk to him?" Amy asked.

"It probably would've been an unbearably long time-filling conversation," Sonic said dryly, "... Great, giant spiders on a mountain path. Why not?"

The spiders Sonic was referring to actually weren't spiders at all, but brightly-colored gigantic four-legged insects known as Tektite. These were red, and, once more, quickly taken out with the Kokiri Sword.

Sonic still hadn't noticed that Tails had replaced his shield, by the way.

The three continued up the mountain, defeating enemies that came there way and passing a giant boulder (not necessarily in that order). They soon came to an entrance to a cave with a sign reading 'Goron City' nearby.

Perhaps I should define that the sign was large and electric? Nah...

Inside the city, Sonic saw that there was an intricate system of tunnels leading to different levels of the cave. He ignored them, and jumped off of the top level to land all the way down on the bottom. He went into a roll upon landing, and so did not get hurt.

"Why did you do that?" Amy yelled, flying down with Tails, "You could have been seriously hurt!"

"Important stuff is always either at the bottom or the top," Sonic explained, "Since the entrance was at the top, the important stuff is at the bottom. Now, help me try to figure out how to open this door over here. It says it leads to the leader's chamber. Hmm... Probably need to light the torches. Anybody got a match?"

Tails handed Sonic a matchbox.

"Where do you... Nevermind, I don't want to know," Amy grumbled.

Sonic lit the torches. The previously unmentioned goron statue-pot-thing in the center of town (because what town doesn't have a centerpiece? Don't answer that.) started spinning around, which did all of absolutely nothing.

"Well, that was a pointless waste of time," Amy said dryly.

"I was sure that would work..." Sonic said. He noticed the goron next to the door, "Hey! Any idea how we can talk to the leader?"

"Big brother shut himself up in his room, saying he won't come out until the royal messenger arrives."

"Great, just great, now... What are you doing?" Amy asked, seeing Sonic take out the Ocarina and start playing Zelda's song. "Oh, right, like that's gonna work. They're just going to assume that anyone who can-"

The door opened, allowing Sonic and Tails to dash through.

"... If anyone has anything to say, shut the heck up." She flew after Sonic and Tails to find the two talking to a red echidna wearing a goron costume.

"Dude, you're an _echidna,_" Sonic said, "You are not a goron!"

"Shut up, you imbecile of a royal messenger," the echidna said, "I was a gift to my people from the sky! They made me their leader!"

"... You are aware that Mobian echidnas can glide, right? I thought it was common knowledge."

"I am Knuckles, leader of the gorons, and the strongest goron there is!"

"You. Are not. A goron."

"Um, Knuckles..." Tails said, "You really don't look like a goron..."

"And you are technically not a living creature."

"... Knuckles, you're kind of mean," Sonic said, "Why are you in such a bad mood?"

"Ancient creatures have infested the Dodongo's cavern! We've had a poor harvest of our special crop, bomb flowers! Starvation and hunger because of the rock shortage-"

"Wait a second, hold up," Amy said, looking around the rock chamber, "Rock shortage? What the heck are you talking about?"

"This is a goron problem!" Knuckles snapped, "We don't need any help from strangers!" He crossed his arms and refused to say another word.

"... Okay, now what?" Tails asked Amy.

"I don't know," Amy said, "Hmm... Why not ask Saria?"

"What? No! She's crazy!" Sonic yelled, "Knuckles! Please tell us something useful!"

"No."

**Thirty seconds later...**

Sonic sighed, and took out his ocarina to play Saria's song. Saria's voice didn't come from anywhere, but the song did stay in the air, somehow. And Knuckles started dancing to it.

Sonic and Tails backed away slowly from the dancing, deluded echidna.

"Oh! Oh-oh! Come on!"

That was when the psychedelia started.

"Come on! Come on! Come on! HOT! What a hot beat! WHOOOOA! YEEEAH! YAHOOO!"

Knuckles finially stopped dancing.

"Woo! Suddenly my depression is all gone! Suddenly I wanted to just dance like crazy! Was there something you wanted to ask me about?"

"S-Spiritual Stone," Sonic said, eye twitching.

"The spiritual stone of fire? Also known as the Goron's Ruby? Our race's hidden treasure? I'm not going to give it to you that easily. If you want it so badly... Go beat up the monsters in Dodongo's Cavern. If you do it, I'll give you the stone. Now get out of my sight and hop to it!" With that. Knuckles forcibly threw Sonic and Tails out of his room. Sonic's eye was still twitching.

"... What?" Amy asked, noticing Sonic's expression.

"That was either the most disturbing or most hilarious thing I've ever seen."

"Or both," Tails added.

"Forgot something!" Knuckles yelled, and threw a gold bracelet out at them, "It's the Goron's Bracelet! Use it to pick stuff up and stuff like that!"

* * *

_THERE IS NO WAY I COULD HAVE MADE THAT SCENE ANY FUNNIER._


	8. Dodongo's Cavern

_**TatlTails:** No, there was not. He'll notice soon. Glad you liked the choice of Knuckles... As for Ruto, wait and see. Yes, things will go BOOM. And dungeon bypass because they feel like it.  
_

_**Fyre Red:** You aren't supposed to get it... yet. It's been on his back the whole time - He'll notice soon. Sonic and Tails brotherly stuff will be included and stuff. No, I do not like vocaloid.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Dodongo's Cavern  
**

* * *

The team left Goron City, and walked over to a nearby cliff with a fence at the edge. There was a flower that looked oddly like a bomb next to the fence, and the giant boulder they had passed earlier was visible over the edge.

"That's a bomb flower," Amy observed, "You pick it and it blows up after a few seconds, as the name would imply. It also grows back ridiculously quickly. I'm just going to hazard a guess that that boulder is blocking the entrance to Dodongo's Cavern and needs to be blown up."

"You guessed right!" A random goron who had been standing nearby yelled, "But none of us can get it down there in time..."

"Can't you just put it out and re-light it?" Sonic asked.

"That's ridiculous," Amy scoffed, "It'd be too..."

Sonic had picked a Bomb Flower and put it out. He shoved it in his hat, and repeated the process twenty or so more times.

"... You truly delight in sequence breaking, don't you?"

"... Aren't we trying to save the world or whatever?" Tails asked, "Anyway, Sonic, want me to carry you down?"

"Sure," Sonic said, putting the hat back on, "Let's go blow that rock to smithereens!"

Tails flew Sonic down to the boulder. Sonic took a bomb flower out of his hat, and lit it with a match. He set it down next to the boulder, running to a safe distance with Tails.

The bomb flower blew up, allowing the two to run safely inside.

Amy sighed, and followed the two enthusiastic adventurers.

The inside of the cavern was moderately lit by a pool of lava in the center. There were two wooden bridges far above, two side platforms of stone, and a large platform floating in the center of the lava. Oh, there was also a gigantic lizard skull coming out of the back wall and resting on the platform.

"... Rocks don't float in lava," Tails pointed out.

Nothing happened.

"... Huh," Sonic said, "I thought for sure that the platform would sink because you pointed out its illogical existence. Think you could fly me up to those wooden bridges, Tails? I think I see a stone plaque."

"Sure thing, br... Sonic," Tails said, complying.

Amy grumbled before following them up to the plaque on a ledge connected to one of the bridges.

"Hmm..." Sonic said, "... What does this say, Tails?"

"Ahem," Tails coughed.

"... Er, do you even have a throat?" Amy asked.

"Probably not," Tails admitted, "I just hear people do that a lot. Anyway, it says

_Giant dead Dodongo..._  
_When it sees red,_  
_a new way to go_  
_will be open._

It rhymes in ancient Hylian, by the way. It also has a footnote saying that it means we have to bomb the skull's eyes and calling us idiots if we couldn't figure that out."

"Well, then..." Sonic said, "I think we know what to do." Sonic jumped to the other bridge, Tails also easily making the jump.

"THAT IS NOT HOW YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO IT." Amy was ignored once more as Sonic and Tails re-lit two bomb flowers and dropped them into the eyes of the skull. The eyes started glowing red, and the mouth of the skull opened to reveal a tunnel through the back wall. Sonic and Tails jumped down, running through the tunnel.

Amy facepalmed, and followed them.

The next room was simple and square, with a hole containing a pressure switch in the middle. Directly across from where they entered, there was an alcove high in the wall with a large stone block in it that looked like it would fit in the hole with the pressure switch perfectly. To the left, there was what was obviously the door to the boss.

Tails 'grinned', and flew up to the stone block. He pushed it onto the floor, and then pulled it all the way to the switch.

"He's stronger than he looks," Sonic commented, as Tails finished his task, "Good work!"

"Thanks!" Tails said, as the boss door opened.

"Grumble grumble... Dungeon... Grumble..." Amy... Well, grumbled, to tell you the truth.

"... I really don't see what your problem with this is," Sonic said, as he opened the door.

"Yeah," Tails added, "Shouldn't you be happy we're doing this quickly?"

A flaming bat suddenly attacked Sonic, but hit his shield.

"Hm?" Sonic looked at the shield, "Huh... Cool shield."

"Thanks! I got it for you after... Uh..."

"... Eh, didn't really like the old one. Now, are we going to beat this boss or what?"

"We're going to beat this boss!"

**Five minutes later...**

"... You just shoved bombs in his mouth so the explosions knocked him unconscious," Amy said, aghast, "Well, that was what you were supposed to do... But not five bombs at a time!" She was, of course, referring to the unconscious dragon laying on the pool of lava that had inexplicably hardened when he'd been beaten.

"What's this thing?" Sonic asked, picking up a strange, heart-shaped artifact on the igneous rock, "It's all red and shiny..."

Amy sighed, "That's a Heart Container. It increases your maximum energy by one heart. Look up."

Sonic looked up, and saw three red hearts at the top of the screen. Suddenly, the Heart Container disappeared and a fourth heart appeared.

... Wait, screen?

"That's your life energy. Everyone in this world has it. How can you not have noticed this?"

"Sorry, but I kind of grew up in a sheltered forest clearing that I was never allowed to leave. Might that have had something to do with it?"

"... Yes, it might," Amy said, "So, you have four hearts. How many does Tails have?"

Sonic and Amy looked up again, soon finding another life bar with two red hearts (Amy said that was hers); and then another with six silver-colored hearts.

"Hey, Tails!" Sonic yelled, "Why are your hearts a different color?"

Tails shrugged, "Dunno. Let's go see the princess again."

"Alright, then." Sonic and Tails zipped out of the room at high speed, leaving Amy alone again.

"Why am I the only person who cares about how this stuff works?"


	9. Great Fairy

_**TatlTails:** Yeah... Maybe you do, maybe you don't. I'm planning to reveal it around the time when Sonic picks up the Master Sword. Eh, I did forget it; but decided it worked because they didn't actually beat her. No, Ruto is not Rouge.  
_

_**Fyre Red:** It's really Tails. Glad you liked it.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Great Fairy  
**

* * *

Outside of the cavern, the heroes were immediately faced with Knuckles.

"Well done!" he congratulated the three, "Thanks to you, we can once again eat the delicious rocks from the Dodongo's cavern until our stomachs burst!"

Tails looked at Sonic questioningly. Sonic made a 'tell you later' gesture, and continued listening to Knuckles.

"What a wild adventure! It will make an incredible story... I can't believe that the Dodongos suddenly appeared in such great numbers! And that big rock blocking the cave... All this trouble must have been caused by that desert thief, Eggmandorf! He said, 'Give me the Spiritual Stone! Only then will I open the cave for you!'"

"... Question: Did he seal the cave in the first place?"

"Yes. He said it would make the rocks taste better. Anyway, you risked your life for us! Kid, I don't dislike you! How's about you and I become Sworn Neutral Accomplices? No, there's no big ceremony involved! Just take this as a sign of our non-animosity!"

Knuckles shoved the a large ruby into Sonic's hand.

"You obtained the Goron's Ruby!" Knuckles announced happily, "Neutral Accomplice! Go see the Great Fairy on top of Death Mountain! She'll power you up!"

"... O-kay... Tails, you think you can fly that far?"

Tails nodded, a happy expression on his face.

"... You're just delighting in bypassing any challenge this adventure could have, aren't you?" Amy deadpanned.

"Hey, everyone!" Knuckles shouted, "Let's see our neutral accomplice off! Goron group hug!"

Three Gorons dropped down from above, and started moving towards Sonic with outstretched arms.

Sonic screamed, and ran up the wall of the mountain at a very high speed.

Tails, as usual, was close behind.

Amy seemed surprised at something, "I don't blame him this time! That is scary..."

* * *

Sonic found a cracked wall near the top of Death Mountain, right next to the entrance to the Death Mountain Crater, and blew it up with one of the leftover bomb flowers, allowing him and Tails to enter the Great Fairy's fountain.

Amy flew up to find a few holes leading into the mountain itself on a ledge near the top. She wasn't sure which one Sonic and Tails were in at first, until she heard the screams of terror from one of them.

"... Yep, they met the Great Fairy."

Amy flew in, and covered her eyes. The Great Fairy's bat-like appearance was too horrible to comprehend... She had white fur, and wore copious amounts of makeup, but that was where the beauty ended... Her taste in clothing was... Inappropriate; her voice was terrifying; and... Well, she was just creepy.

"Hey, sweetie," The Great Fairy Rouge said to Sonic, "How would you like to learn a special technique, and a little magic!"

Sonic was currently curled up into a ball in fear.

"Charge your sword to use a spin attack! And what do you know, cute little foxy here can do it too, using his tails!"

Tails was mimicking Sonic.

"When battle has made you weary, come back to see me!" The Great Fairy said, "I'll fix you up right quick, in my own special way..."

She disappeared. Sonic and Tails instantly dashed out of the fountain.

"Nine-year-olds should not have to see these things," Sonic said, rubbing his eyes.

"She's scary..." Tails whimpered, "... Let's never go back in there..."

"Agreed... We got the Spin Attack thingy, so... Yeah..."

"I see you don't like her," Amy cut in.

"... Ya think?" Sonic asked, "Alright, time to find Cream..."

"Hoot! Well, I see you've met the Great Fairy. She's quite a lady, isn't she?"

Sonic and Tails looked at the own incredulously.

"Why, I remember back when I was younger... Ah, yes... That was such a nice night. She sure knows how to-"

Sonic grabbed Amy, and dashed away as quickly as he could. Tails followed behind.

"-Pick a good restaurant to eat. Ah, yes, such a lovely night..."

* * *

Sonic ran all the way to the path to Hyrule Castle, stopping near a boulder.

"... Huh," Sonic said, "Should we blow this up, Tails?"

Tails nodded, and Sonic threw a bomb at it. It blew up, showing that there was a small hole that could be crawled through. Sonic crawled through it, and was surprised that Tails hadn't already appeared on the other side... Until he saw what was in the cave.

He screamed, and dashed out of the Great Fairy's fountain.

* * *

They reached Cream's garden fairly quickly, at which point she informed them that the next Spiritual Stone was in Zora's Domain and promptly kicked them out again.

"... Do you get the idea that the people here are kind of crazy?" Sonic asked. Amy rolled her eyes.

"A little," Tails admitted, "What's next?"

"Talking swords?" Sonic joked.

"Well, actually..."

"Never mind, I don't want to know. Man, it seems like everyone except us three is crazy in one way or another..."

Amy rolled her eyes. In her opinion, it was less than just the three of them.


	10. Zora's Domain

_**TatlTails:** To be honest, I'm not entirely sure you can. Do you expect Sonic and Tails to do anything else, though? Well, unless everyone was crazy in the first place...  
_

**_Fyre Red:_**_ Would he be? Heck if I know. Fourth wall, here we come! Hey, where'd you go? Did you get shattered into a million pieces?_**_  
_**

_**DanceDream:** Glad you like it. You should try one of the games... This one is considered to be the best by a lot of people, by the way. Yeah, those two are real characters. Eh, you'll see why eventually... Within a chapter or two, actually. I think both phrases are correct.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Zora's Domain  
**

* * *

"Ah, Zora's river... Chickens..."

"CHICKENS ARE EVIL!" Tails screamed, interrupting Amy.

"... Yeah. Right. Chickens; grass; a tall metal fence; some crazy guy selling beans; evil octopi; a nice, cool, refreshing river; overly-complicated platforming puzzles in a game without a jump button..."

"Wait, what was that last one?" Sonic asked.

"A nice, cool, refreshing river. Oh, and the-"

"Hoo hoot!" The annoying brown owl flew down and landed in front of Sonic, "Hello, young hero!"

"You're worse than Saria!" Sonic said exasperatedly.

"Ah, the sage of the forest. Yes, yes, I know her well... I tutored her, you see, taught her some valuable life lessons about keeping tabs on people."

"Stalking, you mean," Amy said dryly, "Who would even do that?"

"Oh, yes, this reminds me of the time I was at Hyrule Castle town... They have such nice restaurants there, very scrumptious. Oh, and then there was that time when the Kokiri Sword was forged, hundreds of years ago... It's sacred, you know, the Kokiri Sword. No one is really sure how - sacred can mean a lot of different things - but it is a 'sacred sword'. Oh, that reminds me... Eggmandorf is evil and planning to steal Princess Z and stuff, but you probably don't want to know the boring details..."

"Wait, that'd be-"

"So, I'll leave you now! Tally-ho!" The owl flew off, not allowing Amy to finish.

"... Wonderful," Amy said dryly.

"Why do I get the feeling he forgot to tell us something?" Sonic asked, as he quickly dashed along the river, sometimes jumping across and reaching the end of the river quite quickly. It ended at a waterfall, with strange twisted walkways in front of it above the water. At the closest point to the waterfall, there was a symbol of the triforce.

"... I bet you have to play Zelda's Lullaby," Tails said.

"Probably," Sonic said, playing the song Zelda had given him. The waterfall split, showing a cave behind it. The heroes jumped to it, entering without further discussion or delay.

Zora's Domain was a huge cavern have filled with water. There was a wide rocky ledge encircling the water and spiraling upwards, which was obviously what Sonic and Tails were standing on.

"... And since we're at the bottom, we'll find it at the top," Sonic said, "Let's go!"

They ran up the path, soon reaching a throne room containing an extraordinarily fat fish person. The throne itself was strange... The fat fish was literally sitting on top of a small waterfall falling into a pool that took up half the room.

"... Oh, Ruto... Where have you gone..."

"... Uh, hello?" Sonic said, "Mr. King Zora sir? Is something going on?"

"Oh, woe is me! Woe is me! My daughter disappeared a few days ago, when she went out to play with our giant fish monster that sometimes eats people! Well, they always come back out anyway, he never hurts them, but still! Where could she have possibly gone?"

"... D'you think she got eaten?" Sonic asked.

Tails shrugged.

"And, obviously, she didn't go to Lake Hylia! She wouldn't go to the place she spends half the time in; where she threw an empty bottle with a message inside into!"

"Wait, how does that-"

"And she didn't get eaten, because Jabu-Jabu likes her and she lets him eat her! So, obviously, she wasn't eaten."

"Your logic astounds me," Sonic deadpanned, "... Come on, guys, let's go to Lake Hylia..."

So the trio set off for Hyrule Field, off to find Lake Hylia...

* * *

"Hoo hoot!" The owl hooted, landing in front of Sonic, "This way to lake Hylia! Ah, the water here is delicious and beautiful... And the research facility's not half bad either! Oh, yes, there's a scarecrow you have to write a song for, and an empty bottle with a note in it near the entrance of the lake. Ah, yes, and I should also tell you about the triforce - Very important stuff. Also, the Kokiri Sword has a- Oh. You left."

Indeed, the trio had ignored him. They soon came up to the edge of the huge Lake Hylia. Then Sonic remembered something.

"... Oh. Right. I can't swim."

"I can!" Tails said, "And I don't breathe, either!"

"... What are you?" Sonic asked, "... Eh, don't really care all that much. Go for it, bud!"

The fox nodded, and hopped into the lake. He came back up with an empty bottle with a note inside. He gave it to Sonic

"Hmm... a note..." Amy said, "May I see it?"

"Sure," Sonic said, throwing it to her, "It's worthless anyway. But the bottle? There are only like, four of these in Hyrule. I'm hanging on to this."

Amy read the note, "Oh no! Ruto was eaten by Jabu-Jabu!"

"I could have told you that," Sonic said.

"And... Doesn't need our help? Wants us to leave well enough alone?"

"We can do that. Apparently getting eaten by this guy is pretty safe."

"She also has the Zora's Sapphire. Also, it says not to tell her father."

"... Crud."

* * *

"WHAT? MY DAUGHTER HAS BEEN EATEN BY JABU-JABU! SAVE HER, STRANGELY DRESSED HEDGEHOG! WATCH AS I SLOWLY MOVE TO THE SIDE SO YOU CAN FIT IN THE CAVE BEHIND MY MASSIVE GIRTH!"

_Oweep. __Oweep._

"... I didn't even say anything," Sonic said.

_Oweep. __Oweep._

"... Is he making weird noises just from moving?" Tails asked.

_Oweep._ _Oweep._

"... Yep. Hey, maybe we should snag a fish in the bottle," Sonic suggested, "Might come in handy."

_Oweep._ _Oweep._

"Alright," Tails said, "Go for it!"

_Oweep._ _Oweep._

Sonic dipped the bottle into the pool, easily snagging a fish.

_Oweep._ _Oweep._

"... Yeah... I think the gap is big enough now. Let's go!" Sonic and Tails dashed through the gap behind King Zora, just barely squeezing by into the waterlogged tunnel beyond.


	11. Jabu Jabu's Belly

_**TatlTails:** I figured. Well, honestly, in real life, chickens are quite nice... Especially if you get them when they're small. ... Really? You're interested in what he has to say? Hmm... Well, I'll have to work him in more, then... I was going to do that anyway, but, eh... You'll see Ruto. Four Bottles in the whole country... And they'll get another one soon. Oweep. Oweep.  
_

_**Fyre Red:** It shall be answered soon...  
_

_Major changes in this chapter.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Jabu Jabu's Belly**

* * *

"... Big fish," Sonic commented, looking at the gigantic grey fish wearing a golden headpiece known as Lord Jabu Jabu, "Here fishy! Eat the little fishy!" Jabu Jabu resided in lake surrounded by high stone cliffs.

"I say, there is no need to coddle me," Jabu Jabu spoke gentlemanly, "Ow... Though it would be quite kind if you would ease the pain in my stomach. I believe there is something quite... Unwelcome in there. I do believe that Ruto is likely playing darts in there again... Though it does hurt worse than usual. Now, come along, hop into my mouth." He opened his mouth widely to allow them inside.

"... Um..." Sonic trailed off, "That was unexpected..."

"Yes, yes, quite, I get that reaction a fair bit," Jabu Jabu said, "Now, would you kindly go into my stomach and retrieve Ruto?"

"... Alright," Tails said.

"... I know you," Jabu Jabu said, "My, I have not seen you in quite some time, Miles. Tell me, how is the Deku Tree doing this fine day?"

"... Your name is Miles?" Sonic asked, "... That's not that bad."

"He's pretending to be dead," Tails said.

"Again?" Jabu Jabu asked, "He really should let go of that odd pastime... Especially when one takes into account exactly how bad of an actor he is. Ow... very well. I would prefer that you see what's going on inside my stomach before we catch up more. It was quite nice to see you again, young fox."

"You too," Tails said, leading Sonic and Amy into Jabu Jabu's open mouth.

"... So how do you know him?" Sonic asked.

"We met when I was younger," Tails said, leading them through Jabu Jabu's throat, "I came here with my brother and sister a long time ago..."

"Brother and sister?" Sonic asked, "You have siblings?"

"... Eh, sort of," Tails said, "Been a long time... I think we're coming to his stomach now."

The three entered a large chamber. Within, five things could be seen: A strange machine attached to the floor, a heart container of top of said machine, a note taped to the machine, a Zora girl around Sonic's age, and... A boomerang. Which said Zora girl was using to hit every part of Jabu Jabu's stomach she could reach with it.

"... Give me that!" Sonic said, rushing forward and taking the yellow boomerang, "Why are you hurting him?"

"... You have taken my boomerang... That must mean..." the girl, presumably Ruto, started staring at Sonic, "... My hero..."

Sonic ran to the machine as fast as he could, and read the note.

**I, BARINADE, am currently unavailable due to being much cooler in a parody fanfic being written by someone much more competent. I, BARINADE, leave this machine in my place to produce similar effects to my presence. To destroy it, simply throw the boomerang at it and take the heart container. I, BARINADE, bid you good day.**

"... Okay, that was either really weird or a blatant shout out," Amy said, "... Eh, just do it." Sonic threw the boomerang at the machine, causing it to shatter. He grabbed the Heart Container, increasing his max life to five, grabbed Ruto (... She was looking at him weirdly...), and high-tailed it out of there with Amy and Tails close behind.

"Why didn't you complain about dungeon bypass?" Tails asked as they came out.

"It was gross."

"... Why, I feel ever better!" Jabu Jabu said, "Thank you, great hero Sonic and young spirit Mr. Prower!"

"Spirit?" Amy asked.

"Miles Prower?" Sonic asked, "Now I see why you don't like that name..."

"I could, of course, give Sonic a sacred sword... Though I see that would produce some issues, given how close you and Sonic seem to have become in the short time you've known each other..."

"... Hold on!" Amy interrupted, "You're confusing me. Now, kindly explain... What exactly is Tails?"

"... I've been wondering that too," Sonic said.

"A sword spirit," Jabu Jabu said, "Simply, he _is_ the Kokiri Sword."

"... And he didn't tell us this because..." Amy looked pointedly at Tails.

"... I told you, I forgot what I was called..." Tails trailed off, "... And I kind of wanted to get to go on an adventure without someone just treating me as a weapon, and not as a person..."

"Huh," Sonic said, and laughed, "My best friend is my sword... How about that? And... Ruto, why are you staring at me like that?"

"My hero..." The fish girl shoved a large sapphire into Sonic's hands, "Take this! It's the spiritual stone of water... It's been passed down in my family... My mother said to give it to the boy who caught my eye..."

"... Alright then..." Sonic said, backing away.

"... You could call it the Zora's engagement ring," she whispered too quietly for them to hear what she said, but it was still unnerving.

"Let's get out of here," Sonic said, grabbing Tails by the wrist and putting Amy into his hat.

"How is it so roomy in here even with all the bombs?"

"Not the time!" Sonic dashed off, away from the somewhat insane fish girl and towards Hyrule Field.

_Oweep. Oweep._

Unfortunately, they were slowed down by something.

* * *

_... Yes, TatlTails, you were right._

_Fun Fact: When I played the game, I discovered a way to glitch into Jabu Jabu's mouth by swimming under him. I had no idea I had to feed him a fish, or that I even could.  
_


	12. Lon Lon Ranch

_**TatlTails:** Yes, you knew it. No, he isn't referring to Girahim and Fi. He's not that old. You might see what I'm talking about, but you might not.  
_

_**Fyre Red:** Yep. Has been since the start.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Lon Lon Ranch  
**

* * *

"... That guy is REALLY slow," Sonic said, "Betcha he won't have finished moving over the next time we come here."

"I'll take that bet," Amy said, smirking, "Fifty rupees. If he's still moving to the side when we come to Zora's Domain again, you win. If not, I win."

"Alright... And now to discussion," Sonic looked at Tails, "Okay, you're a sword, correct?"

"Yes," Tails said, "... I think Jabu Jabu said that."

"Alright..." Sonic said, "So, how do you pick things up and walk around and stuff?"

"... I'm not sure how it works," Tails admitted, "But... Well, this... Erm, isn't really me. It's a construct, a solid projection with a set form. That I can also see, hear, and feel with, somehow; but it's not my real body (more useful, though...). I dropped it a few times while adventuring..."

"... That would explain a bit," Sonic said, "Now... Is there really a reason to maintain it after we know? Just asking... Can you still talk and stuff?"

"... Yeah," Tails said, "I can still talk when I'm just a sword... Why do you want me to?"

"... Well..." Sonic said, "... You're easier to carry like that..."

"... I see," Tails said, "Well, alright... I don't really mind right now. I'll come back if you need anything." Tails turned into a ball of light, which shot into the Kokiri Sword.

"... That's not scary, is it?" Tails' voice emanated from the sword, sounding worried.

Sonic laughed, "... Even if it was, saying that would kind of... Well, nightmare retardant."

Tails laughed as well, and Sonic ran onward.

"Hey, Lon Lon Ranch isn't on fire anymore," Amy pointed out as it became visible over the horizon, "Let's go there. Maybe we can find something out."

"Alright," Sonic said, "PROTAGONIST WRITING TIME-SKIP POWERS, ACTIVATE!"

Seven years (Two of which were leap years) later...

The bridge leading to Hyrule Castle town was broken... There was an ominous darkness looming above the town, and a strange cloud above Death Mountain...

"... I think that might have been a bit too much," Amy said, "... Uh, can you go back?"

Six years (Two of which were leap years), three hundred sixty-four days, twenty-three hours, and fifty-seven minutes earlier...

Sonic walked into Lon Lon ranch, whistling.

"That was weird," Tails commented.

"And talking swords aren't?" Amy asked.

"... Point taken."

Now that the ranch wasn't on fire, the three could clearly see that there were two buildings at the entrance: A house and a barn. Sonic entered the house on the left without knocking, to find the two men they'd seen at the castle inside.

"... times I have trouble believing she's your daughter. You were never this crazy when we were kids!" the green one said.

"Eh, shut it, Luigi."

"Mario, seriously!" Luigi said, "You can't just... Oh, hello, young man..."

"Hi," Mario said, reaching his hand out to shake Sonic's, "Now, would you like to play our cucco catching minigame? If you can find the three super cuccos inside the time limit, we'll give you something special!"

"... Are you talking about the chickens with golden stars pasted on their wings? Is that good for them?"

"Ah, so you're versed in the ways of spotting the super cuccos!" Mario clapped, "This should be a breeze for you! You have thirty seconds! Go!"

Within three seconds, Sonic had caught every chicken.

"A-AMAZING!" Mario shouted, handing Sonic a bottle of milk, "TAKE THIS! It's a bottle of Lon Lon Milk!"

**DA NA NA NAA!**

**Sonic got Lon Lon Milk! Drink it to restore five hearts! But, more importantly, you now own half the empty bottles in the country!**

"... What was that?" Tails whispered.

Sonic shrugged.

Luigi didn't miss a beat, and continued the conversation, "And, Mario you-"

"Hey, here's an idea. How about I bug you about your daughter?"

"I don't have one! Come to think of it..."

Sonic closed the door behind him before he was able to hear the rest.

"... Maybe that cat girl's being sane now?" Tails asked.

"Only one way to find out," Sonic ran out to the pasture in the middle of the ranch to find Blaze petting a brown horse.

"Oh, hello," Blaze said sweetly, "Do you like her? Her name is **Eradicate Pulverize Obliterate Nullify Annihilate,** or Epona for short. I'm going to teach you her song!"

Blaze started singing, "**Burn the world,** Epona, come **and burn with** me!"

"... Just catch the notes and run," Tails advised.

Sonic nodded, memorized the notes, and high-tailed it out of Lon Lon Ranch and straight for Kokiri Forest.

"... Uh, guys? You left me with the crazy!"

* * *

"Why are we going home?" Tails asked, "I though Gohma lived there now."

"She does," Sonic said, "And I think she cheated me out of a heart container!"

"... Oh. Right. Can you do that time skip thing again?

Five minutes later...

"Oh, this thing?" Gohma asked, producing the Heart Container, "Eh, Mr. Egd told me to hide it. What do I care, you can have it."

**DA NA NA NAA!**

**Sonic got a heart container! Sonic's life increased by one!**

"... Yeah, that's weird."

"Says the talking sword."

"... I'm perfectly plausible within the rules of the setting without being extraordinarily overpowered."

"... Heh, I know. Let's go back and get Amy."

Five minutes later...

Amy was suddenly back in Hyrule Field as she flew alongside Sonic.

"... What just ha-"

"Time skip!" Sonic grinned, "It's so useful!"

"... I feel like a metaphorical wall is weakening somewhere..."


	13. Temple Of Time

_**TatlTails:** Annoying? Epona's name... Heh heh heh.  
_

_**Fyre Red:** Well, I do it every night, eating before I go to bed. Yeah, why wouldn't he use them? Yep, Blaze is still kind of crazy... That's going to stick, I believe.  
_

_Quick warning: Sequence breaking abound.  
_

**Sonic's Ocarina**

**Temple Of Time  
**

* * *

"... So, now all we need is to take this stuff to the Temple of Time..." Amy said, looking at the three spiritual stones as they headed towards Hyrule Castle Town.

"When did you hear that?"

"Zelda... Cream, whatever, told us. Also, Deku Tree talks in his sleep."

"Ah... Tails? Do you know anything about this?"

Tails thought for a moment, "... Well, I know _something_ will happen when we take them to the Temple of Time, but I don't know what... I haven't been around all that long, really..."

"... Okay, well, we know what we need to do, then. Let's go!"

When they came within a few hundred feet of the town, the gates suddenly burst open.

Cream flew out of the town, flapping her ears to stay aloft. She saw Sonic, and threw a blue object into the moat around Hyrule Castle Town.

A fat man in badly fitting black armor that Sonic recognized as Eggmandorf ran across the drawbridge at a brisk pace, but had to slow down and stop next to Sonic, huffing and puffing.

"... Phew... She's... Faster than she looks..." Eggmandorf wheezed, "... Lost her... Did you see where she went, kid? Well? Answer me!"

Sonic didn't.

"You're trying to protect them? You've got guts, kid."

Sonic readied Tails and his shield.

"Whoa, what?" Tails asked, "Sonic, I'm not so sure that's a good idea!"

"Listen to your talking sword, kid," Eggmandorf said, "It's very funny that you're trying to protect them and all, but get real. You have no idea who you're dealing with. Now, begone! My quarrel is not with you." Eggmandorf ran off once more, in the completely wrong direction.

"... Right," Sonic said, "... Let's just get going already."

"Wait!" Amy said, "What about the thing that Cream threw in the water?"

"Hm?" Sonic asked, "Oh, right... Might be important."

"Go for it, Sonic!" Tails cheered as Sonic jumped into the water.

Then Sonic remembered that he couldn't swim. He flailed around, managing to snag something hard, and jumped out of the water. Sonic looked at his hand to see he was holding a new Ocarina... This one was made of a strange blue material.

**DA NA NA NAA!**

**Sonic got the Ocarina of Time! This mystical instrument**** allows for manipulation of the flow of time if you play the Song of Time! By the way, you're about to learn it.**

The world went white, and all that Sonic could see was Cream playing the Ocarina he now had. He fumbled before trying to match up the notes, which was surprisingly easy this time around. The white disappeared, and he was back in front of the town.

"Well, that was the weirdest experience yet."

"What happened?" Tails asked.

"Some weird telepathy thing. Let's go."

He ran into town, but, instead of going to the Temple of Time, decided to stop in the open shops first.

"Why?" Amy asked.

"Preparation," Sonic explained, as he walked into a shop labeled 'The Happy Mask Shop'.

At the counter, there was a white hedgehog with strange quills, almost shaped like a leaf. His clothing was a fairly simple, a purple full-body suit and coat, golden... Bracelets and a necklace? For some odd reason, he kept his eyes almost completely closed and was constantly wringing his hands.

"Why, hello, and welcome to the Happy Mask Shop! Here, we ask people to go and take masks to people who wish to buy them! Would you like to become an employee of the shop?"

"No... Why do you do it like that?" Sonic asked, "Seems rather inefficient..."

"... Well, to be honest," the salesman said, "If I may say... I'm a traveler. But I had to stop here because the roads became too dangerous to transverse, and I no longer have the funds required for my travels."

"Hmm..." Sonic scratched his chin, "I've got an idea. I'll give you the Rupees you need, and give you some tips that have helped me out..."

Five minutes later...

"Thank you!" The mask salesman said, walking out of Hyrule Castle town with a gigantic backpack filled with masks, "Thank you very much!"

"You're welcome!" Sonic yelled, "Let's check out the shop..."

He walked to the building in town simply known as 'The Bazaar', and went inside.

"Ah, welcome!" The shopkeeper said, "Customers! I see you have a Hylian Shield, young one. Why not try a Hero's Shield instead? They're just as durable as the Hylian Shield, but smaller and easier for young children such as yourself to use while still being plenty large enough for an adult to use! And, better yet, the price is only 80 Rupees! Or, if you prefer, one mint-condition Hylian Shield, which you just so happen appear to have in possession. So, would you like it?"

"... Sure," Sonic said, trading the Hylian Shield for a very similar shield, but a bit smaller.

**DA NA NA NAA!**

**Sonic got the Hero's Shield! The shield is completely indestructible except for being eaten by a Like Like! But, eh, you have no way to know what that is, so who cares?**

"... Thank you," Sonic said, before walking back into cobblestone square in the center of town, "Now, let's get to the Temple of Time, shall we?"

"It's just to the northwest of here," Tails said, "See where that grassy place with the big building is over there? That's where we need to go."

Sonic nodded, and walked to the area where Tails had pointed out. The Temple of Time was a large, brick building just outside of town. It was surrounded by a garden, and had a clock on the front. Sonic took a deep breath, and entered the open door.

The inside was... Simple. The walls were whitish-grey; while the floor was a checkerboard pattern except for a white part leading to a strange black-topped table-like object built near the back of the room. In front of the object was a small red carpet. In the back of the room, stairs led up to a large, closed stone door with the Triforce above it, and no indication of a way to open it.

Sonic sighed at how obvious this puzzle was. He placed the three spiritual stones on the black object, and played the newly-learned Song of Time.

The stone door opened, and Sonic entered the room beyond.

It was... Empty. That was the only way to describe the room. All that was there was a pedestal, and a sword sticking out of the pedestal.

"Well, that was anticlimactic."

"... It's her..." Tails whispered.

"Who?" Sonic asked, "What are you talking about?"

"... The sword... That's the Master Sword. I met its spirit once, back when I was newly forged... Can we leave now? She's... Um, a bit annoying..."

"Hang on a bit..." Sonic walked up to the pedestal, "What does this writing say?"

"Let me see," Tails appeared next to Sonic, "Hmm... It's instructions. I'll read it."

**Master Sword: How to use.**

**To call for help, tap the yellow diamond on the hilt.  
**

**To vanquish evil, swing the sword at it.  
**

**To progress seven years into the future, remove it from the pedestal at a young age.  
**

**To the person who keeps coming in here and taking out the sword to mess with people's heads by predicting the future, STOP IT. It's not funny anymore!  
**

Tails returned to being a sword once more.

"... Seven years?" Sonic asked, "... It can wait."

"What?" Amy screamed, "You're just going to run away from your destiny? Is that it? I've gotten tired of this, all your doing everything wrong... When you're ready, I'll be waiting here. Seven years in the future. Don't bother looking for me. See you later." Amy flew off, where to, nobody knows.

"Amy!" Sonic yelled, running out after her, "... We need to find her... And I know just the place to check first..."


	14. NOTE

**Sonic's Ocarina  
**

... Well, I'm stopping Sonic's Ocarina. Now, bear with me, my reason's pretty simple:

I've decided to work with a different Zelda game. In particular, the only Zelda game I've ever really gotten close to finishing:

The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker

I'm also making some changes to the general idea. Not a huge change, but... You'll see. This new story is **Sonic's Interpretation of the Legend**, and by uploading this it means that I've finished the first chapter.


End file.
